going Expo-nential!

This weekend three middle-class American women went undercover into a world of ever-escalating stakes, ruthless competition, and progressive mental dislocation. In other words, we went to our area bridal expo! As both my best friend Heather and I are getting married this year, and my other BFF, Maili, is my maid of honor, we thought it would be a hoot to find out what the more respectable and popular brides are doing this year, while conducting some legitimate research for our own weddings.

Okay, we really just went for the cake tastings.

What an extravaganza! We were met at the door by a woman who was exchanging our tickets for "Bride" stickers, making us easy targets for the vendors. We were then thrust into a world of dresses, reception halls, stretch limousines, flowers, photographers, and endless - ENDLESS - bowls of chocolate. The strategy was to get us high on Hershey's, then appeal to our giddy sense of impending bridalhood. It worked. The sugar rush, anyway. At one point Maili and I were dancing around one of the aisles to some DJ's tunes, grabbing coupons and swag and more chocolate as we went. It was almost like trick-or-treating.

Here's me and Heather basking in our loot. I spoke with caterers, photographers, florists, pastry chefs, and jewlers. My conclusion? Weddings are bloody EXPENSIVE!!! Attach the words "wedding" or "bridal" to just about anything and the price skyrockets. Tablecloth rental, $7.00ea. Oh wait, it's for a wedding? Then they're $19.00ea. I'm realizing that I might have to disguise the nature of my event in order to be charged a reasonable price. Yes, my...er, cousin, yeah, my cousin, she's having a....graduation party. So...I'd like to order some....tuxedos for it. We've decided to make it a black tie affair. Incidentally, what do you have in stock for white dresses? No, not specifically bridal, I'm not getting married, hah! But if some of them happen to be bridal gowns, I guess what's the harm in looking?

We spent some time in one of the stretch limos on display at the Expo. It reminded me of my apartment in Tokyo. A little roomier, though.

We did taste quite a few wedding cake samples. Most of them were very impressive to look at, but weren't much to shout about taste-wise. I'll take a homemade brownie any day of the week. I did enjoy looking at the designs. They had cakes that looked like presents, some that were studded with (edible?) jewels and even one that had a rustic fall foliage theme, complete with maple leaves and birch bark made out of sugar. They were so beautiful, it would have been a shame to eat them.

All in all it was a great time. Though we were disappointed that there were no champagne tastings, and completely blown away by the juggernaut that the bridal industry has become, we did leave with some information, a bit of inspiration, and lots and lots of chocolate.